Posted by jbeymer on Aug 4, 2010 in Uncategorized
Keywords: Gobble, Milk, September
It’s a cold September morning, and the barista fills your personalized Lady Gaga mug with coffee. I hate you. Oh, yeah, hi. Smile and nod. No. Not the daily ritual… Don’t cozy up to the condiment station like a goddamned chemist. Just pour the milk and—Stop shaking the Splenda packet! You’ve loosened the granules enough. Rip the packet open and—Stop it! Why do you keep doing that? No, don’t gobble up your scone now. Jesus. Chew once in a—Stop it! I notice a guy staring at me, typing on his laptop. Hey! Is he blogging about—Stop it!
Keyword preview for tomorrow: umbrella, inebriated, carousel
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Posted by jbeymer on Aug 3, 2010 in Uncategorized
Shh. Be very quiet. My job is to kill talking rabbits. Hey, there’s a big one! A biped, even. I give chase until it dives into a hole. I want to yell, but my speech impediment, you see… It’s embarrassing. I thrust my double-barreled shotgun into the rabbit’s home. As I do, something emerges from the hole behind me. Even with my doctorate in physics, I don’t make the connection. “Got you now!” I fire the gun. Buckshot sprays from both barrels, dislodging half my skull. My prey chomps a carrot, smiles and asks me what’s up. Ooh, I hate rabbits.
Keywords: buckshot, biped, skull
Have at it!
Preview for tomorrow: gobble, milk, September
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Posted by jbeymer on Aug 3, 2010 in Uncategorized
As the release date for Rogue’s Curse looms (8/16), I need to whore it up big time. So for the next two weeks, I will write one 101-word story a day. Not one word more, not one word less (excluding title). Feel free to play along at home.
Here’s how to play:
Each story will contain 3 keywords (ie. Pickle, Happenstance, Diaper). Write your own story incorporating these words, then post that sumbitch as a comment. You can choose any day and any set of keywords, just keep your gem at 101.
I will highlight the best contributions on my blog.
(And, um, keep it PG-ish, please. My aunt in Nebraska reads this…)
I’ve received many (none) questions; so here’s a FAQ.
FAQ:
Tell me about the 101-Word Daily Stupor
Every day from 8/3/10 – 8/16/10, I will post a story that is 101 words long: not one more, not one less.
Why are you doing this?
Because I’m desperate. And it’s fun.
Can others contribute?
Of course! Post your own 101-word story in the comments using the 3 keywords provided.
Can others provide keywords?
Yes! Post them in comments.
Isn’t this just a gimmick?
Well… I suppose—
Why should I care?
I never said—
What time are you coming home?
I told you. I’m a grown-ass man. Back off.
When is your little book coming out, Jason?
Sigh. My little book comes out on August 16th.
Where’s the money you owe me?
I’m good for it.
What if nobody comments?
I can count my readership on one hand, so my expectations are low. I’ll be giddy if I get more than two.
You suck.
Thank you. Now pay me.
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Posted by jbeymer on Aug 2, 2010 in Uncategorized
I signed a new contract with Lyrical Press, Inc. for an Urban Fantasy/Comedy “Nether.” No release date yet, but I’ll keep you updated.
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